After 5 years of working with intercultural couples and just as many years of my own experience in such relationships, I’ve noticed an interesting pattern.
What couples attribute to “cultural differences” often turns out to be common relationship problems: • communication difficulties • different expectations • misunderstanding each other’s needs • family patterns • personal traumas
Yes, the cultural context adds its own flavor. But the root of the problem usually lies deeper.
For example, a situation: “He doesn’t understand why I spend so much time with my parents – it’s our culture!” In reality, this might be:
- fear of separation
- immature boundaries
- codependent relationships with parents
Or: “In his culture, it’s not customary to openly express feelings!” But in fact:
- personal trauma
- fear of intimacy
- trust issues
Therefore, when working with intercultural couples, it’s important to:
- Not hide behind “cultural differences”
- Explore the root causes of conflicts
- Work with each partner’s personal history
Do you have experience with intercultural relationships? What do you consider the main challenge?